Missing U(tp)

Heated pavement walks, shaded rooftops sought, the bright sun. 
Sweat trickling down my back, cotton scarves, & a touch of lipgloss...

Wake up wake up, and drag myself out of bed. I struggled to find my placement in society during the first 2 years of uni. I was not sure what I was doing there. I made it through but it is still a blur. I knew what I liked, but I guess did not find the right people to jive with. Its not all about studying, you see, its the lack thereof that made it more fun. 

Early morning sky gazing, cheap foods heaped aplenty, chubby cheeks.

Notes shared and copied, field tracked, squash played, pool swam. Perfect skinned. 

The carefree days, could anyone replace? The torturous lab hours that went by in a daze, all I collected were song names to check out later on the intranet. I was a nobody. Among hoards of boys, I sought companion with the other remaining girls. The friendship has lasted me to this date. We'd swap papers during pop quizzes, refer to our well written notebooks and couldn't care less about coming to class early. Maybe we walk slow? Did we? 

Music made my world turn, decisions shorthanded, crazy outings. Adhoc was cool.

Distractions welcomed, trouble disregarded, beach, boys and cigarettes. 

Money was scarce, well at least I knew it wasn't my strongest trait. I didn't need much of it to be happy. Flipping through the old photos and videos I was a pretty happy kid. Laughing between sentences. Was life sweeter then? Or am I not stopping long enough to smell the roses. The city lights will swallow you.. 

Secrets kept, promises broken, lives entered. Exit.
Glances stolen, learning to love, true love? Bitter, cruel, soul. 

Melancholy infinite sadness, where only death can bring eternal peace you said. Boxes. Packed.

I'll make space for all of this, baggage. Sealed tight, close to my heart. If I revisit, do I skip this batch of photos? Or pretend you were not there?

21, 22, 23.. all but a distant memory.