Remember This

Backlash with words like hot iron rods.
Stamped to the flesh, never to be forgotten.

Its not funny anymore when he says these things out of the blue.

The smell of defeat, trickling blood, from the fight.

I am tired. Of this uncertainty.
You have changed, into a monster that I must love.
For I have promised you and my word I shall keep.

Why o belittled cockroach of mine. Did you have to stab me this way.

I'm sorry I ran, into the darkness.
Away.
Away from you, and your cold nest.

Why o belittled cockroach of mine. Did you have to stab me this way.

***

Angry words should never be met with an angry mind. You sort of get a nuclear explosion. And the bus stand already has enough combustion chambers in action.

Farewell rainbows and candy canes

I had a long trip home for me to be alone, think, doze off and continued thinking. Truth be told, I can not muster any more energy to put up with the way I feel about things. The way it makes me feel, the anger, the betrayal. Even though its something pretty simple and trivial. Nevertheless. If he doesn't know how bad it makes me feel, then there is really no point in even trying.

What bloody fool would go around to the opposing side and raise a white flag without actually collecting all relevant info? Ye ye, I may be over reacting. Sedangkan dgn ex kau pon aku boleh kalah. Apatah lagi if I was to get into a fix with your mother. I never said that I wanted you to discontinue being friends with her. Fuck, you'd still do as you wished even if I requested so.

All I wanted was respect, and the right to know these things not a month later. If I am not your present. Then neither am I your future.

For the first time in my life, the presence of my blog has backfired on me. And for that reason also..I will make it private. Sorry lovers.

On a Friday

Both my parents are around, and it feels like I am now back to the time when I was in 8th grade, or form 2. I'd have a non-official curfew that I abide to, and I try to get up and out wee early in the morning before dad wakes up. Tactical right.

I've only spent 6 days here in my clients office. I just did the invoicing for it. For the record, per day..its a hefty sum that the clients are paying. Though not a single cent is transferred my way.

I think the girls in this office are not that friendly, they don't smile at you nor do the guys say hi or hello when passing by in the hallways. In the blue company, everybody is your friend. Until you mess up off course. The other thing thats been nagging me is the fire escape route. And they had the nerve to tell me I need to 'learn my way around' wtF. Whatevs la, safety is so not an extra co-curriculum for me, its kind of their responsibility to make sure I know these things. Whatevs.

Can't wait for tomorrow.

Jeune June

June June. How you played me so. I am twirling around like selasih in a tall glass of sirap ais. Haha. I think I'm thirsty. The weather has been fair, sharing me equal (but not enough) amount of sunshine for my photography to blossom, and rain to cool the short temperament that I have.

I've been doing loads throughout the day, but it seems that office work has taken a huge toll over my life. It used to be 6pm, punch out, head to the beach for a run, and by 9pm I'd set a date with my most handsome serial killer, dexter. Oh by the way dexter is really coming together. He is getting more 'normal' in every episode.

I've been hanging out a lot with a close friend of mine, nzaz. In a nutshell, he is single, claims he has healed (which I pray he has) and has this charming effect over almost all the 'auntly' people that we have crossed path with. Haha. Can't say I'm not to blame for not publicizing F's face more, but then again, thats not how I roll.

We went clothes hunting, wedding attending, designer meeting. Truly a bestie! And the awesome part is that F is cool with it and I am able to say that I am fond of him without having any crazy feelings or shit.

Thanks for the companion and I really do hope you find your true happiness. We just don't really know when.

Suckerr

Its now coming into my second week in KL, and boy how much workload is there! I can't even dream of coming home early to do some family stuff or even do tea with any one since on days that I am in rohas its just past 8 pm for sure.

Other days when I am in the client's office..I get to pace myself so slowly (pretending to be at beat with the clients) I always find myself laughing in disbelief at how much they goof off during work hours. Workaholic much?

Other instances that fill my day with glee are moments when I observe how well made up most people's faces are when loitering around the lobby areas or entering the mall from the LRT exit. Like seriously, you have the effort to re-do your make up at 5? More power to ya! And then the other short snippets are at how ridiculously pretty the girls have to be when at the same 10 ft radius, the guys are just pretty much wearing the same shirt they had on last week. Hi hi. Its amazing.

Ooh and another one. I hate it when a lady is all dressed up but then she forgets to take the time to peel off the price tag off her vincci heels. Damn. You had me up til the shoes, missy.

KL. Bliss!!

Kereta Idaman

Ok aku pagi hari ni mcm tade hasel sgt. Bangun sikit punye la pagi, tapi esok kene bgn lg awal la kan. Anyways. I love honda so much. Tapi F tak suke honda. Ah ah too bad bb. U're kinda stuck with a honda lover for good. Ini kereta idaman ku.

Cepat la naik gaji aku tak sabar ni nak sambar satu. Patut nak cerita pasal weekend yang agak hebat tapi tak jadi. Slere makan pagi pon hilang dengan serta merta. Cemane ni? Siapa ada satu nak bg aku merasa duduk passenger seat pon jadik lah. HAHA. ok nanti nak mintak kat tokey kedai taya kat kemaman tu. "apek, kasi wa duduk dalam pon jadi la. maseh bohh!"

Hik hik. Dreaming is way more fun than real life.

Itu Skandal

Hey I have no clue who reads my blog. Have always thought of putting it to private, but it has never really caused me much trouble so what the heck. Keep it public. Free.

F has been away for 3 weeks now, we hardly get to talk mainly due to the time difference and him being busy and myself being such an early morning person. There have been a lot of buzz at work and a handful of seriously cool projects coming up. I wish I could cut myself up into tiny pieces so I could do 'em all.

In my 2 plus years with the company, only now that I feel myself being accepted and able to trust the guys without missing a heartbeat. The bond is truly awesome.

I spent last weekend heading to the kite park off mrr2 twice and bought 2 kites.

I ran like a silly kid who has no clue on how to get the flat piece of plastic up in the air.

I navigated my way up to taman permai jaya off an iphone.

I challenged a physically challenged football player in rehab up the steps.

I fed off the positive vibe my bestie gave me.

The last part sounds juicy.

I need to do it again. Sunday. See you.

Click Refresh

You know the feeling. When you have been playing the same darned song and when you click refresh the same darned song re-appears?

May was a beautiful month for me, but I did see my grandfather leave. I am thankful that when he left us, my dad's siblings are at peace. None of this nonsense bull about property and worldly possessions. I am clicking on refresh but surprisingly I find myself rather content in the spot I am in.

Its been two weeks since I came back from the sea. I got to reconnect with my friends and am bravely looking forward into the future.

So click refresh.