Leraikan dengan senyuman!

Hah. Cuba teka?

Hari yang indah ialah bila,

Sahabat karib kita sudah pulang ke tanah air.
Cukup dengan itu sebenarnya utk membuatkan aku gembira.
Dan lagi.

Ayah menegur gambar profile di facebook, katanya tidak baik ibarat menayang2 y kami sudah official.
Official la ayah..dah dua tahun, hari ini.

Tapi aku cuma jawab dekat ayah, 'ok la, nnti kalau dia keluar ngn perempuan lain, senang nak tahu'
Mesti ayah ingt aku ni bakal menjadi Queen Control. Tsk tsk.

Hari yang indah ialah bila,

Kita terpaksa menelefon client dan berharap dia tidak marah..malah mendengar dulu apa saja alasan y kita suap ke dalam kepala nya. Bagus sungguh nasib ku.
Dia mendengar dan berterima kasih kerana aku sudi memberi penjelasan.
Siap ada, 'take ur time' lagi.

Hari menjadi paling indah bila kita berjaya meleraikan semua gangguan dan stress kerja dengan attitude y super rock.

This is my second day that my positive mind has gotten me through a crappy, crappy, crappy day.

Saya tunggu awk call malam nanti.
We should do something special tonight, perhaps, if you remember.

Hari Indah

Santa Monica, Los Angeles 2009.

Yes, I'm in Balikpapan sudah. Alhamdulillah, my flight and all was ok. But. Well, I got a bit stuck at the immigration. Which is very dumb and ignorant on my behalf I guess. Ayah is a bit pissed I went ahead and just got on the plane without checking the formalities. Boo hoo sukeroo.

I'm here to assist with the Chevron campaign. They told me usually this client will only have one well per month, but suddenly they wanted to have 7 well interventions done. Thats where I come in. Sad part is, most of the work done is not really completed well. So aku ni macam tukang cuci jamban taik org lain lah.

Balikpapan, is a bit artificial to me. In a similar sense to how LA was. But different. I have yet to discover what they have to offer cultural wise. I'm even looking at the possibility of me going to Sulawesi for a diving trip. Alone? Masakan.. haha.

Its very stressful for me here, the way they do things is differently. I think transparency has a multi layer chain, which is dumbfounding. Cause its not supposed to be that way. And I'm working with some of the most defensive people I've ever met, which is downright ridiculous OK. Bangang nak mampos.

Aku rasa sunyi di sini. Rumah besar, TV besar, ruang tamu besar. Dapur pon besar. Tapi selalu bangun pagi dan rindu dekat mama dan ayah. Selalu minta dekat Tuhan untuk memberikan aku kekuatan dan semangat untuk menghadapi hari. Aku rasa tak sabar sangat utk hari indah di mana F akan kata pada ku, "Sayang, boleh berhenti kerja dah..jom"

Day dreaming is free. Wishing is also free. But its these two things that keeps me going through the day with a smile, you know?

Jadi for now, F cuma boleh sms kat aku, "Bertahan lah, abg tahu kerja mcm ni tak best." Mungkin aku sudah menjadi hamba duit? Bak kata Zarina. InsyaAllah, rakan2.

Hari indah pasti akan datang.

Schuz.

Wandering in Singapore

Im in Singapore now. I wanted to share a lot here in my personal space. I've been giving off bad vibes to F lately. And I cant blame him for feeling tired of this emotional baggage I seem to be carrying around with me for no apparent reason. I can only say that I am jealous of all the wrong things.

Raya was great. I got to do all my cousins and even my aunt's black eyeliner. Which is good, cause I am halfway through my eyeliner pot. And I need to finish it before I can go and try another one. My flight is in another hour's time and I am in Changi International Terminal 2, with free wi-fi access that lasts up to 6 hours per account. All you need to do is give the pretty lady your passport and she'll hand you a username and password. Cool rite?

I didnt bring a lot of money with me this time. I only changed rm100 and got about a quarter of a million of rupiah. Geez. Their money needs time getting used to. I dont plan on spending my money on anything other than bakso and other foodies. I will stay away from meat cause I'm not too sure on how halal those things are.

I miss F a lot. He knows it. But sometimes other things get in the way and I have a hard time of conveying how I truly feel about him. And things. I need to get myself back together. I am losing my spark big time.

Wish me luck for my job stint! I have no clue what I am going to Balikpapan for. But damn, dont we all need the money.

Santa Monica Pier

Wihu~!! Am taking the time to quickly scribble something here. Def not enough time to upload a pic or two. My train to Camarillo leaves at 905 am. We're gonna go shopping like crazy there before I head home tonight.

We took a $30 star ride hop-on-hop off bus around LA. Pretty neat. Saw the whole city within 8 hours. Uber kewl! Ok so my favourite would be Santa Monica Pier but we didn't have enough time to get off and enjoy the beach. Dang.

Sape kate LA tak sejuk?? Penipu. It was freezing cold due to the open top bus we were riding on and the fact that it was 21 degC outside and we were dolled up all nice didn't help OK.

Schuz. I will see you, and you real soon.

Outlet la pulak

Hargh hargh. Cannot breathe. How can I go to an outlet and be bankrupt before I get there? Hinnnsss. Hinnnssss. We'll mesti ade cara. Here's the brilliant plan. (Take out yellow notepad)..

I'm gonna pretend that I have $200 for my own stuff. (lodging, transportation not included in this budget.) Then I'm gonna try to get myself 2 cardi tops, and a pair of jeans. Jeans is optional since I have an array of loyal jeans that I seem to repetitively wear without fail or feel the need of a different shade of blue. Plus jeans je kot, I can get them whereverr.

2 cardi tops, try to get them from either Forever 21 (yes I know we have this back home..but I need these babies noww) or just cheap at Charlotte Russe.

This one is cute! Either in white or black. Most likely white cause I have tonnes of black ones.

The ruffles is actually a piece of ribbon sewn on. Cute giler.

This one is kinda plain jane. Not really me. Unless I am now working in an office. Ok so cancel lah. Tak jadik.

This woven black cardi is cute juge. But not as loud as the one with the sewn on ribbon kan? More subdued and calm, i guess.

I was about to buy this one the other day at the mall..but it looked kinda small. I don't really want to wear it with the sleeves all the way up until it looks like a short sleeved tee. But I LOVE pokadottssyy.

Ok tape, if I fail to get them while I am dutifully outlet shopping in LA, I will have my F buy them for meee in the UK =)

Ok tape. Tenang2 aje. Hahahahaha.

Park Affair

Hyde Park, 2008.

How do you enjoy your time in the park? Laze around and wait until it gets late. Walk steadily past all the trees and greet all the blooming flowers. Read a book and pleasantly find yourself dozing off, gently feeling the breeze of the wind beneath the rustling of the leaves. Birds a-chirping. Dog a-licking your face...Haha. Kidding.

I had a great time while I was here in Tulsa. We didn't even have to go far out of this state to truly enjoy ourselves here. Sure everyone told us what a cowboy town it was and how dead boring things could get if you didn't have a car.

There are always parks if you go out of south east asia. Its in their bloods to celebrate trees, and maybe it is also due to the climate. So parks are a lot more enjoyable where it is cooler. Reasons aside, I believe that we both experienced what it was like to have been surrounded with strong art influence (I'm relating this to the painters and poets that we read about..not ourselves), and the means to express themselves through words and drawings.

Being in parks makes me happy. And I've always taken them for granted. The trees. The flowers and rocks. Being in parks sort of make you believe that you could actually make time freeze.

Peneman Setia

Terima kasih kerana selalu menemani saya belajar di malam hari.
Saya sayang kamu.

clean sheets.

Youth was the time when I never noticed anyone around me, and I didn't know that the boxy part of my body above my butt was called the hip.

I've always wondered if I was born without a womanly figure.

Boxy has left me eons ago. aeons.
I'd make a bad english teacher. You think?

Youth was the time when I never judged people on how they lived their lives.
I judged them on how much fun they infused in mine instead. Needy.

Passing judgement is something we do the instant we wake up now. How sad the world has become. I should have never left neverland.

Youth was the time when I checked out a library book on periods, and felt like fainting when the librarian flipped the book to the back to stamp the date.

The Artist In You

I am feeling the urgent need to get back with my inner self. I feel I am losing my touch when it comes to who I am and who I want to be.

I want to be an english teacher. Or a teacher of some sort. I love kids. I want to be socially needed, I guess.

I love art. Crafty not so much of me though.
Paiting..therapeutic. Drawing, oodling. That was when I was in love.

I want more time to read my poetry. And the poetry of God.
Poetry is an unfolding of something beautiful, and should not be rushed.

Neruda, Borges..they are all waiting for me, patiently.
I still need to fall in love with Tolstoy.

Will a sketch pad and some water color heal a broken soul?

If I had things my way..I would pack up and leave. And perhaps become a voluntary english/maths/wadever teacher in the outskirts of earth.