Chase Me

I’ve put on a pair of new shoes, I’m running now. I run with no directions, but I know I’m moving further and more lost in the game of deception I made for us to play. And still you chase me down. I run the bend like I’ve never done before. I run and I hide. But the truth just seems to catch up with me much faster than I’d expect. The tune from a song, the pose of a picture, brings me back to the date, back there to the humid air, to the heart pacing moment I wish would never end. I saw you right there in front of me.

And it did.

How is it that a well-wisher gets the whole world turned on her back in a glimpse of an eye? How?

And you say you love me, but you do it again.. and again and again..

Whistling Sparkles

Whistling Sparkles, the box reads. No kidding. I just got back from some post raya fireworks fun and play with my loved ones, gc n ms.Radio. Had a bit of a fix choosing where we'd actually play the fireworks since the police are really enforcing the law against them and I didn't think it was any fun to run away from the varsity guards either.. so we settled for a strip of road not usually used but had access to ample lighting to avoid suspicion or problematic accusations - just in case.

Anyways, I am the honorable supplier of these illegal paraphernelia (spelling?) and the setting of the camera was at long shutter mode, set to 1.3" (I think thats how to type it) and iso 50.. 50??!!! nak buat ape ngn 50. adei la..so the first batch were rather horrid and dark. No matter now, I remembered for the 2nd shooting session which was held later after gc dropped us off and we had our own photoshoot in the center park, and then right under Block J.

La mischevious enfante

Neither me nor my roomate were the kaki mercun pon.. so both of us blew our socks off just trying to light the darned thing - okay la.. maybe me more than her, but when it came to the thunderclap thingy.. that was the ultimate rush. mcm bodoh cover telinga, camera lupe nak on. haha!! Too bad. Next time Im going to try to scribble something with the light, like write a "g" and then "c" gosh. Now Im really cheesy. Hahaha.. Pardon pardon.

The ones with the black cat on the box was the whistling type. The noise it made was loud. you'd probably think it was a thunderclap Im holding but it wasn't. gc was even more clever and lit one up right there in his residential rec room. Had tonnes of fun.

Im so going to fucking miss this place.

Hypnotize Me

Magic is cool. Unknown, surreal, mysterious. But I prefer science and facts. I'm gonna do an experiment on myself pretty soon. Hope the magician in me will come up with a miracle..Silly sentence.

Zam zam ala KaZaamMM!!

Isolation

Well its only the 2nd day of raya and I'm already back here. To the place I most belong. Feels good. I've been living in and out of places for the past 10 years I guess, eversince my parents moved from KL and posted to Singapore, and now to Switzerland. I like to have my own space, my own set of rules and I dont really like being told what to do. That way of life probably became my way of life unintentionally but deliberately just to cater my need to have a sense of belonging.

Some resolutions, none.

Dont feel like talking about it at the moment. Things suck when you feel like you're doing something for the good of others, but then it turns out that they think you got it all wrong and then the next thing you know, you're the one to blame and now you've got to bane yourself from any human contact just to save yourself the trouble. Stupid.

I hate raya this year.

The Winner

Today I received another happy email from Steven Ng. The results for the Lantern Festival Photo Contest & Exhibition are out! And he got 2nd place! Congratulations are definitely in order!! Uber cool.

These clippings were taken from the Sin Chew Daily News dated today for the Lantern Festival Photo Contenst & Exhibition. See.. C'est moi!! wakakaka.

The winning entry.


The original picture.

And now.. introducing the all time mentioned name for the past few entries but with no face.. The secretary of Foto Imej Perak... 3rd person from the right. Mr. Steven Ng!!

What better way than this to start the holiday tunes ringing in my head~

All Apologies

I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezerburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy
-In Utero

I would like to apologize to someone. I really am sorry for forgetting the most simplest of things. I seek forgiveness from the Almighty this holy month, and hopefully from those around me. I honestly honestly forgot and I'm sorry. All apologies, from me.

Half Time

Really shouldn't be blogging. But I've pretty much completed all my brain can handle for the a.m. part of the day, and the p.m. part better prove more outcome or else!

Im not that looking foward to Raya, Im just doing it for my brother's sake. The poor kid just finished his PMR and still has to go to school for whatnots in the form of community service I guess. If I were him id just skip the whole ordeal and be back home in swiss waking up to mom's cooking. Stupid school.

So heres the run through. I have my fyp to accomplish at least up until the interim part which is due on wednesday? tomorow? haha..who cares. Then theres the petroleum exploration formation evaluation bit which is due on the 30th but we would all like to complete it before raya. Mansys is also looking bleaky. Is there such a word? Bleaky. No ray of hope. Until the masterminds can get the base model right and leave the rest to me. EIS is another big sucker. My task is pretty straight foward. Get a QA plan for valve testing. But no..I couldn't just do that because my resevoir assignment is a bigger pain in the butt. Employment trends and forecast in oil and gas industry? Its not even what they'll ask me in the finals. Sheesh.

What a stresful week this will prove itself to be. To those enduring the same, all the best. To those who've been there done that and got an A, well then. More power to ya.

Midsemester Dreamers

When I think about my future career path, I would rather not think about my scholarship bond. It somewhat spoils the fun of dreaming. Numerous feedback can be found in the net about how hard it is to be satisfied with your work.

So the objective of my career path would be to make ultimate use of my bachelorhood and youth so as to gain as much experience and exposure the field of oil and gas has to offer. Concentrating on my youth because I know the resposibilities to come and circumstances due to those resposibilities may be a big influence on the jobs that I am able to take. Ultimately, I hope my first job with Petronas (if Allah wills it) will be in Miri, Sarawak. I need to be in the field and the matter of job satisfaction will only be prime when I have aged.

I plan to work my butt off for the first 5 years of my career and get meager pay. With that many years of experience under my sleeves, I hope that it will be a great platform for me to aim for the stars and perhaps get myself into the corporate and management sector.

My definition of a dream job would be to integrate public relations, management and travelling. I am great with people and have great presentational skills. But honestly, I really, really hope that Brunei opens up their own oil company so that I can reap the benefits and create my kingdom there.

*Dream big kiddo, dream big..

Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you
- Fix You, Coldplay

But I couldn't. Because I didn't know what to say to make you feel better.

Correspondence

I got some picures from the photographers, Steven and James. Steven is the secretary of Foto Imej Perak, has kindly kept in touch with me via email. There will be an exhibition on the photos that entered the photography competition on 17th - 19th of October held at Ipoh Parade. I think I'm going!! And just for keepsake, I'm gonna put a clipping of the emails I got within the past week, just for the fun of it!

Krom Luang

Tuesday was Nuzul Quran, and we had the day off. Not wanting to miss the full range seafood buffet offered at Krom Luang, Ipoh near Greentown area, my friends and I were really looking foward to stuffing ourselves!! The late afternoon in Ipoh was a bit rainy so we didn't get our group picture taken.

The array of food was appetizing! As noted, the food ran out quickly so getting there early was a prime factor to success. Even more so when s1nach & co were also booked for a party of 12. Competition, competition.

I had eveything planned out. Maximize on crustaceans, things we can't find at Ali's and take the mahal2 stuff only, minimise the rice and chicken and whatnots.

Jenga and I took about 3 plates in total of just the dishes, no rice. Then another 2 plates with rice and veggies.

The plates was heaped in prawns in garlic paste, baby crabs coated in tumeric powder, kerabu sotong, steamed fish, and suprise suprise there was also lauk nenas masak kuning with salted fish! Tofu in oyster sauce, tomyam with crab and more prawns..and more and more..Nafsuu!!

For dessert ( I wasn't too keen on dessert, because its been months since I had a proper meal with mr.Prawn and mr.Crab) there was an array of traditional Thai dessert, pulut with mango pieces, sweet barley porridge, and a continous flow of orange cordial. All for a worthy 17 ringgit.

All in all we had a great time, the place may be a bit small so some bum clashing moments took place, the ablution area is the toilet, the cashier was really rude to us, although one person thought it was in our place to apologize for the misunderstanding.. silly girl if you ask me.

Garden City of Lights

Weekend comes and have lots of fun

Joke around makes us feel like one

Super slackers now kiss my heart

Growing older is not my fault

-Butterworth Pushfull

Got back from the Lantern Festival in Ipoh last Thursday, with my luvly friends..had a blast. Its been a while since I had something exiciting to look forward too. So letting the pictures speak for themselves, this will deifinitely be a photo entry. The lanterns were up by dusk, and at 8pm was the judging rounds. We missed the Lion Dance. The lanterns it is then...

We got to let our imaginations run loose as the designers crafted magically enchanted lanterns to please both the judges and crowd.

Display of intricately detailed handicrafts.

There he is in between the swarm of red fishies..

Oowh, lupe nak mention. Yup, there was also a photography competition held at the same time. 1st prize goes to rm1,500 and up to like 16 consolation prizes of rm100. So guess what? The place was packed with eager photographers ready to capture your connection with the lanterns on display. (Above, jenga ckp sorang2 hehe..)

Children show genuine emotion, but are hard to capture. So they had to settle for this big kid. Hahaa..jd model aku mlm tuh!! Gc kept a close eye on me at all times. Seriously funny! Maybe the theme nowadays is cultural integrity and I was the only female malay donning the tudung.. Right place, right time. (above : by s1nach)

Well actually, it started out as us posing for our own cameras. But then out of nowhere this photographer comes up and *snap* *snap* a pic of you. You smile in embarassment. The photgrapher goes up to your bf and rattles,

"Lu bwk lu punya isteri, dekat2 dgn ini lantern ayam..Jgn pandang camera..buat mcm cakap2.."

Huh??! Isteri sape? haha..that was hillarious. We didn't know what we were supposed to do. The lantern was of two wild chickens, and after the awkward photoshoot the photographer explains that the animals represent marital bliss. Right.

And that was pretty much the launch of my one-night-modelling career. This pic shows this guy from The Star asking me to pose for him.. Tolong sesame melayu.. tak salah. I even modeled with my roomie. Jenga lg klaka..siap berdialog ngn aku lg time tu. But it got a bit tiring when you had to pose for like, God knows how many DSLRs that night. Bottom line was, it was a nice feeling.

"Amoi, amoi!! Saya belum tangkap lg ya!! Tunggu saya.. wahhh...Time kaseh ow."

There was a point I was dripping in sweat while posing. Like in the final pose of me grabbing an orange from the middle of this ancient chinese coin shaped lantern. I hope they use my pics..hehe

Tgk btol2..I think I was sauna-ed the whole session through. Gc slipped in the middle of the big lenses and got this for me!

Gc wasn't in many pics that nite. He was avoiding being paparazzied.

I accomplished what I had planned on. Taking pictures.

And etc.. Many thanks to jenga for the signatures.. I have yet to install photoshop *sigh* thanks to s1nach for coming along, for your expertise and kind guidance. To my gc. I had so much fun. Thank youu!!

MusicQ

Something I got from Kephens' frienster thingy.. doing it for the fun of it.. silly silly playlist! arghh~

1.) Put your music player on shuffle
2.) Press forward for each question.
3.) Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4.) NO CHEATING!!!

The questions and my answers:

1.) How am I feeling today?

Out of My Mind- James Blunt..have been a bit stressful on myself.. bende tak relevan pon ngn skolah. haisk!

2.) Where will I get married?

Cobalah Utk Setia - Kris Dayanti..hahaha.. nice. we'll try that one first and then perhaps marriage.

3.) What is my best friend's theme song?

My Boo - Usher n Alicia Keys.. everyone's her boo..hahaha..

4.) What is/was highschool like?

Snakes and Ladders - Joss Stone.. tectonic movement of the mind, winning, cheating, lying.. the works

5.) What is the best thing about me?

Sex is Not the Enemy - Garbage.. hapebende plakk.. or maybe i cherish more than that. haha

6.) How is today going to be?

Call me when you get this - Corrine Bailey Rae.. call me callll meee~

7.) What is in store for this weekend?

All of You - Vertical Horizon .. I need a lot of you.. yea yea yea

8.) What song describes my parents?

Honey, this mirror isn't big.. - My Chemical Romance hrm. tade kaitan.

9.) How is my life going?

Urban Getaway - Elemeno P.. yes i love the bees and the trees and the monkeys.. and you

10.) What song will they play at my funeral?

My Humps - BEP how inappropriate sungguhhh

11.) How does the world see me?

Cintai Aku - Rossa.. has its sentiments, i guess..nextt

12.) What do my friends really think of me?

Smack My Bitch Up - Richard Cheese. Tamo la main bende nih.

13) Do people secretly lust after me?

Billy - James Blunt .. was thatt his name? haha.. no la, kidding

14.) How can I make myself happy?

Love - Destiny's Child.. yeah, shower me with all you got!!

15.) What should I do with my life?

Tulus - Radja .. tulus? whatever.

16.) Will I ever have children?

He wasn't - Avril Lavigne.. haha.. he wasn't ready..?

17.) What is some good advice?

Don't Cha - PCD n Busta Rhymes .. yup, just go out and get em' all, live it to the fullest!

18.) What do I think my current theme song is?

Beautifully Broken - Ashlee Simpson.. sad sad sad.. 65% sad

19.) What does everyone else think about my current life?

Diari Cinta Kita - Hazami.. betrayed by my facade

20.) What type of men/women do you like?

The Devil in the Wishing Well - Five for Fighting.. Did i get him? Did i? Did i?? hahaha

21.) Will you get married?

Don't Lie - BEP .. i guess this comes after the cobalah utk setia part

22.) What should I do with my love life?

Say Sumthin' - Mariah Carey.. say.. I've always wanted a nice handbag.. haha.. say that ker??

23.) Where will you live?

Hitam Putih - Dewa .. this is the kitchen to be.sekian.

24.) What will your dying words be?

Chest - Orange Range..uber fast for a dying person.. adeii la

25.) When im having sex i say...

Naluri Lelaki - Samsons.. honestly, how corny is this.

26.) When I meet a guy/lady for the first time i say..

Catch Me When I Fall - Ashlee Simpson.. good move babe!

27.) When my parents are angry i say ..

StickwitU - PCD ..anything to melt their hearts kan. miakaka

Today

Jika kamu memancing ikan.... setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail, hendaklah kamu mengambil terus ikan itu.... janganlah sesekali kamu lepaskan ia semula ke dalam air begitu sahaja.... kerana ia akan sakit oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu dan mungkin ia akan menderita selagi ia masih hidup.

Begitulah juga setelah kamu memberi banyak pengharapan kepada seseorang... setelah ia mula menyayangimu hendaklah kamu menjaga hatinya.... janganlah sesekali kamu terus meninggalkannya begitu sahaja.... kerana dia akan terluka oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin tidak dapat melupakan segalanya selagi dia mengingatimu.....

Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan, janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh.... cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu.... Apabila sekali ia retak.... tentu sukar untuk kamu menampalnya semula.... akhirnya ia dibuang.... sedangkan jika kamu cuba membaikinya mungkin ia masih boleh digunakan lagi....

Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang terimalah seadanya.... Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu istimewa.... anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan kesilapan, bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya.... akhirnya kamu kecewa meninggalkannya. Sedangkan jika kamu memaafkannya boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan berterusan hingga ke akhirnya....

Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi... yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu. Mengenyangkan.Berkhasiat. Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba mencari makanan yang lain.. Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan. Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya. Kamu akan menyesal.

Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan..... yang kamu pasti membawa kebaikan kepada dirimu. Menyayangimu. Mengasihimu. Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba membandingkannya dengan yang lain. Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan. Kelak, kamu akan kehilangannya apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain Kamu juga yang akan menyesal.....

(**credits to ms.SimplyE & co)

Cendol, Pontianak

The year was 1989; I was still new to the world and wore pinafores of dark brown and on Saturdays, in checkered green. The fabric reminds me of tablecloths everyone had in their houses used back in the days. I went to school with my brother, and was awarded side-kick of the year award by him.. hey, that’s another different story.

We were just toddlers perhaps and I was an adventurous one. During this month, I’d get home and rush to the kitchen to help my mum prepare dinner. Cendol was always on the list, alongside tahu sumbat and cucur udang. My dad was a strict man, always wanting rice on the table. But I was obedient and I knew that it was only on weekends that we got out to have treats in the little town of Pontianak, Kalimantan.

So by the strike of 5, I’d be covered in green pieces of flour mix up to my sleeves trying to help my mum squeeze out the cendol. That was fun. We’d always use the tin of a lychee and the day before we’d poke holes at the bottom of it to get as much cendol out on each push. The cendol would be a warm mix of flour, water, and I’m guessing some pandan flavourings. Mum would pour the mix and I’d rush to squeeze it out. Suke main main tau. Always got scolded because I’d most likely slow down the process but I always saw myself as a good kitchen helper. The cendol bits would go into a batch of ice water placed in a basin about the size of me, so that it would get gelly like in matter of minutes. I wonder why my mum wouldn’t let me take the cendol bits out and into the jugs. Would u? hehe.. but the mess we made! Our kitchen in Pontianak was humungous. Or maybe it was because my brother and I were toddlers. Even the fridge seemed huge. I bet I’d fit inside if I tried.

I don't remember the mosque that we went to for tarawikh. I'd try to pray alongside my mom, but I was so bored and started doing front roll-overs in the ample mosque floor and went home sticking with sweat from running so much. Everytime I hear children playing in the mosque, I'd remember this moment. It was also during this period that I stretched my legs so much thatI became flexible, up till today.

I don’t think I woke up for sahur during the toddler years, I don’t think I fasted at all for that matter. But my brother and I each got a vitamin C before bed, just to keep our ammunitions in tack. Yes the year was 1989, and I just realized I hadn’t started fasting then. Wonderful.