Those days I didn't even look at the sky

Listening to Alanis Morissette's Jagged lil Pill on repeat now, what am I, 11? Reminds me of walking in the district of New Market, downtown Dhaka. I search for something, a sense of belonging. Kids were listening to 'What if god was one of us.' I was learning life through Sydney Sheldon (what a perv) and my best friend was a short Turkish boy by the name of Can Baysan. He gave me a Pulp Fiction soundtrack cassete tape for my 11th birthday. 

The year was 1995, I was in the 6th Grade with Mr. Lewis and my favourite subject was Social Studies. It was so easy for me to spot and name the location of the photos that would hang in the "Guess the Location" in Mr. Lewis's homeroom. I recall winning a few of them spot on. Most of the kids were like me, nomads with no preference to any race or language. A mixed tape.

I was a blank canvas, the worst I did was shave my legs (once!) because all the other girls were doing it daily and stole a 'Saved by the Bell : Make-up and beauty regime' book from the local library. 

I was naive, I had to read about menstruation from a book and wondered how my mom wore her pads that were like an inch thick which reminded me of soft bread. They had superglue on the bottom and it felt like you had a wad of newspaper stuck down there. Giggle.

Dad didn't let me wear shorts when I went around on my mountain bike around Dhaka. Gulshan to Baridhara, was a far trip but still enjoyable. I ate mangoes so savagely I must've been related to Mowgli. I wore longer pants and cheated with shorts during Phys. Ed. Track and field was a favourite. I finally found

something I was OK at. Summers were spent watching TV, sleeping like a log and eating mayo rich chicken sandwiches at the Canadian Club and swimming like a frog.

Never once did I look up to see the stars and wonder what tomorrow would bring. Is that the definition of carefree? Years later I listen to songs with the lyrics like 'These days the stars seem so out of reach'. How ironic. 

1995. You were good to me.

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It was Father's Day yesterday. He requested for rice with nuggets. What a lucky bitch I am? Bet you suckers had to cook your asses off for the Man of your life. We don't celebrate it, but gifts, and hugs are welcome.