Remember This

Backlash with words like hot iron rods.
Stamped to the flesh, never to be forgotten.

Its not funny anymore when he says these things out of the blue.

The smell of defeat, trickling blood, from the fight.

I am tired. Of this uncertainty.
You have changed, into a monster that I must love.
For I have promised you and my word I shall keep.

Why o belittled cockroach of mine. Did you have to stab me this way.

I'm sorry I ran, into the darkness.
Away.
Away from you, and your cold nest.

Why o belittled cockroach of mine. Did you have to stab me this way.

***

Angry words should never be met with an angry mind. You sort of get a nuclear explosion. And the bus stand already has enough combustion chambers in action.

Farewell rainbows and candy canes

I had a long trip home for me to be alone, think, doze off and continued thinking. Truth be told, I can not muster any more energy to put up with the way I feel about things. The way it makes me feel, the anger, the betrayal. Even though its something pretty simple and trivial. Nevertheless. If he doesn't know how bad it makes me feel, then there is really no point in even trying.

What bloody fool would go around to the opposing side and raise a white flag without actually collecting all relevant info? Ye ye, I may be over reacting. Sedangkan dgn ex kau pon aku boleh kalah. Apatah lagi if I was to get into a fix with your mother. I never said that I wanted you to discontinue being friends with her. Fuck, you'd still do as you wished even if I requested so.

All I wanted was respect, and the right to know these things not a month later. If I am not your present. Then neither am I your future.

For the first time in my life, the presence of my blog has backfired on me. And for that reason also..I will make it private. Sorry lovers.

On a Friday

Both my parents are around, and it feels like I am now back to the time when I was in 8th grade, or form 2. I'd have a non-official curfew that I abide to, and I try to get up and out wee early in the morning before dad wakes up. Tactical right.

I've only spent 6 days here in my clients office. I just did the invoicing for it. For the record, per day..its a hefty sum that the clients are paying. Though not a single cent is transferred my way.

I think the girls in this office are not that friendly, they don't smile at you nor do the guys say hi or hello when passing by in the hallways. In the blue company, everybody is your friend. Until you mess up off course. The other thing thats been nagging me is the fire escape route. And they had the nerve to tell me I need to 'learn my way around' wtF. Whatevs la, safety is so not an extra co-curriculum for me, its kind of their responsibility to make sure I know these things. Whatevs.

Can't wait for tomorrow.

Jeune June

June June. How you played me so. I am twirling around like selasih in a tall glass of sirap ais. Haha. I think I'm thirsty. The weather has been fair, sharing me equal (but not enough) amount of sunshine for my photography to blossom, and rain to cool the short temperament that I have.

I've been doing loads throughout the day, but it seems that office work has taken a huge toll over my life. It used to be 6pm, punch out, head to the beach for a run, and by 9pm I'd set a date with my most handsome serial killer, dexter. Oh by the way dexter is really coming together. He is getting more 'normal' in every episode.

I've been hanging out a lot with a close friend of mine, nzaz. In a nutshell, he is single, claims he has healed (which I pray he has) and has this charming effect over almost all the 'auntly' people that we have crossed path with. Haha. Can't say I'm not to blame for not publicizing F's face more, but then again, thats not how I roll.

We went clothes hunting, wedding attending, designer meeting. Truly a bestie! And the awesome part is that F is cool with it and I am able to say that I am fond of him without having any crazy feelings or shit.

Thanks for the companion and I really do hope you find your true happiness. We just don't really know when.