Gedong Lalu Lalang

Dusun Wan Gedong Lalang

If it was up to me, I'd upload this one pic and let the rest file up in memory..on shelves. But nah, I will grow old and forget what it was you did and your character that was of a boy 1 year an 8 months of age.

Sepetang bersama Aunty Naz, Aunty Dila..and the Engris Teacho

Wah kalah org puase Mika! Take 5 atas sofa comfy itu sebelum ukur tapak rumah Wan..

Juadah Berbuka (nages skrg kin!) Simple yet meriah. Paprik!

Naz made murtabak that day. Impressive! Simple, clean, house. Seronok sgt dpt berbuka walaupun muka tak malu menginvite diri sendiri pergi rumah org.. Sheesh! Siap dapat bekal lagi bawak pulang. Terima kasih banyak sahabatku..

Kalau boleh Mika nak join Coco moreh sekali..tapi takpe la Mika, awk tak muat tu, you know that right??

Hey Mika - awk rase dlm gambar AES yang Mama tangkap aritu nampak tak muka awk yang kepenatan dlm back seat? Damn you AES. I thought they were extinct already!!! (Mama, please..!)

***

See, I can write like normal. Its just a switch I turn ON or OFF. I've had one too many people come up to me and ask me if I am OK. I am fine..just on the road of self discovery. Its not that easy, and no one ever said it was. And no one ever said you had to do it alone, right? So accept my writing, as my deepest confessions and my abstract way of reaching out to whoever you guys are that read this space. But if you do see me, don't ask me if I am ok. I am not an open book for you to read.

 Just tell me something new and wonderful about you, that will leave me with awe and make me smile.

Sejuk dan rapuh

a : sejuk kan KL?
n : aah weh, hujan kot.. kau mcm mana beb, sehat?
a : aku OK, cam biase la sayu sikit
n : eh...nape ko sayu mayu lagi..?
a : aku baru realize byk bende..hahaha. macam da 30 ni baru paham apa Tuhan kata selama ni 
n  : oh..
a : so its a lot nak telan
n : it is..
a : ahh babe, byk kau da ajar aku la. sedih.

Maka KL pon banjir..baik di Citibank mahupun di Menara 1 KLCC. Everything seems better when you have someone to do it with.

***

Aku tak mengerti, apa yang mungkin terjadi. Sepenuh hatiku, aku tak mengerti.

A new heart, please

Rare occasions do I get to complete all my housechores by 10:15am. It was another free weekend, one where Mika is happily entertained by his loving cousins. And I am left alone to enjoy the space, and time. It has been a while since I last watched a movie. Both of them were animations... Crickets.

I enjoy housework so much at times of unsettled thoughts. The creases in my clothes, made smooth by the hot steamy iron. I put RHCP's Californication on full blast on the docket. Jenga drifting in peaceful slumber in the living hall. I tiptoe out to see how loud I am and swiftly step back into the master. Curtains aside, I let the sunlight into the room and the calming scent of vanilla basks the morning.

The floors need scrubbing, as do the sinks. I found a neat glove that comes with a heavy duty scrubing sponge attached to it. Scrub away until the white shines through. And everything is new again... How easy that was.

I rummaged through my old jeans and took the favourite copper acrylic. An old toothbrush. In mere minutes, I made an old pair of boyfriend jeans new again. How easy that was..

It was an old pair I got at Changi International airport, the year was 2009 and it was just after Hari Raya. October to be exact. It was the perfect pair I needed.

How easy it was, to spruce up an old pair of jeans to make it last a few more years. Ramadhan is sort of like that, a short month out of twelve where God said, you know what, take a month off and remember whatever you have forgotten about Me..and the things I've promised. Obviously you have forgotten and have gone astray. I can't write much more cause I've been having a rough couple of days. Make the most of this time. I can only sense it slipping away.

How easy it was, to make your heart new?

As you grow

Being a mom is so rewarding sometimes but I haven't been able to truly absorb all of that goodness since I have been so selfish with my thoughts and let you grow on your own. And surely, you have. Cherish this moment, the time when you were my sidekick with no special power other than those rich black locks of hair, the time when you could hardly speak and kept on calling me Aboh day in and out, the time when you demanded to try everything and in disgust would spit out soft mushy foods. And then you'd beg for more, and we'd do it all over again. The time when the word ball and bird and dog and cat sounds the same. You kick pretty good for a baby I must say that we do plan on putting you into some sort of football club when you are of age.

Doesn't matter who you end up looking like, you are the best companion for me. F is almost always away.. I've been digesting whyyyy He made it so. We were never together for more than 3 months straight. Why? Need I be more independent? Did I need to learn to disconnect myself from him too? Sometimes I over think something to the point of total madness. Window pane.

Mika Mika Mika. 

There must be a reason. For this chaos. And your calmness in the middle of it. I think I am missing a huge point. Make me realize.

Lets go make a video Mika, where we suck our breaths and then stick out our tongue, wag it like crazy. Mama better press record, cause this ain't never coming back again.