Midnight Prayers

Today the only thing I felt like chanting, as if it could save me or whats left of my soul was,

Ayah, what am I supposed to do?

***

The idea of working on contract and living back with my parents is so inviting. I can't even think long term anymore now. If I really think hard, about getting the chance to keep my mom company for a whole month?! To further my studies abroad in a subject that is being taught for free. Well, the mere image is exhilarating. Dear Allah, please give your humble servant the strength to make it through the days strong willed and with Your blessings, please let me find the right path to eternal happiness.

I miss you dad.

Toile

I had a blast yesterday to cap off my pretty awful week. If I may recall, monday was berbuka at home with abg and kak liza, after terawih it was mcDonald's milo ais that lasted the whole night poring over what we wanted our wedding cards to read. Tuesday was with supadupa at apartment. I had a bad day again, but F suggested it best I laugh it off with the girls, and it works like magic most of the time. Wednesday we tried WW again, only to get there late and F had to stomach fried chicken pieces and we never got around watching the movie cause we were both spoofed tired.

Thursday, I set a date with Zarina and Bann at pavilion, again. I love the korean food they serve there in the food court. Bulgogi and grilled beef. To my surprise, F agreed to join. He hates the hassle of arranging for a seat in restaurants and to deprive him of his nap before magreb prayers commence. So it was a pleasant surprise when he said he'd be joining me. Little did I know he was loaded with work because he was leaving for Labuan the very next morning. We spent the evening finalizing our wedding to do list and most of the action items had my name on them. Haha.

Friday..was a rollercoaster ride, just glad I had good company with me during iftar at Du Viet.

Saturday, yesterday. I had to spend the morning at the office (apekah). But retaliated later in the afternoon with a trip to Shah Alam to meet my super cool wedding dress maker. We hiked up to ampang lookout point and I fell asleep yesterday, a happy happy cow.

Party's Over!

Haha biasa lah, semua yang bermula pasti akan berakhir. Semua yang bertemu juga, pasti akan berpisah. I knew it was too good to be true, spending a solid 2 months plus in KL sticking close by F and having the luxury of sleeping in my own house, drink from my own mugs. Lazing around on the same beaten old sofa.

I am thankful that I got to spend every single day with my parents during their long visit to Malaysia. Usually I'd be in fits every time I waved mama goodbye at 3am as F and I left the house grounds to head out east. After this, no more wee morning drive to Kemaman. Because he's been upgraded and is based in KL. Should I worry? Ah well, just a few more months to go on this trust game.

After this, its just me and the fishies baby.

When you're driftwood

There are some things in life that we can tell just because..they call it instinct, ESP, a mother's heart perhaps. Like a storm waiting to happen. There are a lot of things thatI believe Allah has given us the choice to control over. Be it the right decision or not, we can't really tell until its too late.

My foundation is made of melted sugar, with a dash of vanilla for aroma and flavor. I've been building blocks out of this mix for over two years now.

Sugar and vanilla, no matter how complex the composition, will melt if you splash it with hot boiling water.