Selamat Hari Raya, 2007

Pagi raya, Kampung Kota, Rembau, Negeri Sembilan.

Kebetulan je semua ade baju hijau. Sumpah tak tipu. Didn't plan on having the whole family present for raya.

Tapi thn ni tade duit raye. Sbb dah keje. And gaji tak masok lg. So budak2 busuk sume tak salam aku. Betuahh.

All in the Family. At last, a propper picture! All my previous raya pics looked like ashrul and I were newlyweds or something. Ha ha ha.

My cousins. Thanks to Paktidin sbb sudi jd cameraman yg spottinggg.

.:Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin :.

angel(s)

There is no such thing as an angel. But there are angels. In plural. More than one. Angels you meet and dance with in a song for two. When the song is over, the angel leaves and you feel the dread of being alone seeping in slowly through your skin.

I have slowly lost my belief towards the existence of an ultimate sole one. They come and they go. You had one yesterday and praised her. She was your angel, then. And when she is gone you go on a search for another. This one is different, you say. Every passerby of your life who once bore the angel tag shall always be considered as one.

He has a fascination towards angels. Deep, soulfull and passionately attracted to the purity of wings and what it symbolizes.

‘You are my angel’, he’d say to me.

‘...after all the other previous ones that failed,’ I’d retaliate.

***

Angel walks, angel talks, angel sings and breathes.

The Day Before Raya

I woke up. The fan is directly above my body. I tug at my blanket. Where am I? I shake off the remains of sleep. Sleepiness. I got up to get a glass of water.

Oh its this place.

The place where I wish I could fit in perfectly. But I am always shadowed by this other someone. Her. The cold morning shower made me forget about it for a while.

The drive to work this morning was scenic. He smelled of citrusy musk and aftershave. The sun came out to light the way. Look, its the sunrise, I'd whisper. He smiled back, not knowing what to promise me.

***

There are only 16 personnel today in the office. Half are already mentally visualizing the trip to Kuantan or wherever they call home.

No bosses. No assigned task. Sweet. Honey, take me home.

7th Day in Kemaman

I am now officially a field engineer trainee here in kemaman. It’s the fasting month so all the staff rushes home at 4pm. This isn’t doing me too much good cause the bus gets here at warehouse 29 at 5pm so that leaves me an hour to pretty much play around on the computer. Play. When there is so much more for me to read, study and complete.

I have a deadline of 2 months to complete my technical modules online and then if God willing, I will go for a training school hopefully in the UK. That, ladies and gentleman is my planning for the upcoming 5 months. I apparently work 6 days a week and get 1 day off for sleep and sanity. He he he. Tapi takat ni all the engineers tell me that for the 1st month of their job they took a whole month straight. I think I might do the same. Raya is an exception. I might celebrate it in bed with mr.bear or go to work and eat cookies with the other less fortunate guys.

Work here is rather random and very different. I am enjoying it a lot. The guys here are fair towards me, they don’t treat me differently just because I am a girl. Although the fact that I am one of the 3 female engineers here may be a factor to consider their willingness to help me. Tapi takpe la, asalkan tade buat bende salah ok la kot.

I think I am doing fine so far. Occasionally I would miss my parents who are here in Malaysia. I miss the comfort of home, the food. But in a few days time my parents will be leaving for Yemen and everything back home would be just the same as the one here in my crew house.

This has been a totally crazy emotional, mental and physical rollercoaster ride and I think its about to swallow me whole.

Fuzzy logic.