Wanderlusting again

Its that time of the year again, where my feed on social media is flooded with pictures of my friends on their excursions. Financial crisis what? It doesn't seem to be affecting anyone to any extent that a cold eye view would reveal. Ah social media. You only upload what you want the world to know about you. 

I've been lazying around at home blissfully and with two boys under my watch I've realized how much Mika has grown up - both physically and mentally. While currently working on his first year photo album, I browsed across photos from our Nepal trip.. You were just a baby! Still pudgy, still learning to understand rules and had zero clue what we were doing out there in the wilderness. I want to take you places, and perhaps you won't recall a thing, but the timing of good health is now.. Anyways, don't ever say I never took you anywhere.

Where to, where to?

I have an unrelenting itch to take out our winter gear as my heart is tremendously fond of snow and I wanted a bit more than a trip to the beach - and chocolate everything. 

Your Ramadhan

Oh wow how time has passed me by. 

Ramadan, bittersweet and anxious at the same time. How will I fair, with Mika, with you onboard for the whole 30 days. This is a first!

You are agitated and tired. Can't survive a day without eating heavily during sahur. And man, you are so cranky when its close to sundown. I am amazed. 

Here I am, at week 34, hopping about literally like a penguin. And yet you go about hastily buying air bandung (which only after a week did you understand the fact that you had to buy me one as well) and we even purchased an enormous tumbler for you to drink out of. What a child!!

And yet you remain simple and plain, only wanting rice and chicken. Additional finger foods are fun but never expected. I really had it easy, compared to some of my other friends. 

And as a mother, this life is really about others - your dependents, your parents, your partner. Never will it ever be about you. Which, is just as good as a reason for me to go serious crazy shoe shoping.

This month alone I bought seven pairs of fancy footwear. 

My weeks

Oh wow. I wanted to write earlier but this got stuck in the process.

I miss my weeks, tired and exhausted I was getting through them. True, what they say about age taking its toll if you decide to have kids at a later age. I had Mika when I was 27. But it wasn't after having him that I had the time and 'life' to start running and continued with yoga.

I'm a mother of two now, its quite overwhelming. Before it just felt like I was left in charge of just one person solely when I had Mika, and now I'm responsible for two little hearts (nagging and crying and constantly seeking attention).

I wake up with much ease for the feedings, and only once or twice had trouble putting Alex to sleep. 

The more I am on this journey, the more I feel like I don't really need anything other than my own two hands to make things happen. Please keep me close to You, so that I don't start losing my marbles on this road that makes me feel quite alone.

Why so quiet?

This is a first. I am bothered by your absence. By the lack of news. By the worry it has resulted me in.

This is new for me. I don't normally mind. I have faith and I know. But I stretch my bedtime in case you would buzz.

I usually go for weeks, and I know.

My body is tired every day, from lack of sleep, from anxiety of wondering when you will call. My mind is exhausted, from thinking of clever ways to manipulate my own flesh and blood into giving me trouble-free mornings.

20th, you said. That's just 2 more days.

I have never felt this worried, and uncertain.