Our golden hour

I can't say that 5 years together officially has taken its toll on us. It seems like I have all this time on my hand and gently, I let the small things go, the annoying habits tucked away, like the hair behind my ears. Occasionally, they too fall, and the hand is quick to slide them back in its place.

There is never knowing what you will get with marriage, or the man you have beside you. But it is important to master communications, with guys its best to just spell it out loud - minus the attitude. What works for me, might not work for you, but you need to find that one thing that you both can go back to when things get rough. 

I seem to get caught in the whirlwind of heart felt issues that my friends themselves are facing - I need to find the name or word for that, surely I can't be the only one who suffers this ailment. The heart ache of trying to settle down, or settling down again for the second time, and the emotional ride of not being able to make yourself be noticed by your partner. Always always gets me thinking far too much at times. 

That night I texted F.

The old you, the old me, I hope they were nice people, cause I can't remember.

We always make an effort to sneak out just the 2 of us, and we'd leave the kids behind. That way I know he is with all of me (my attention) and that I am too. The hour we spend, doing the most simplest of things, makes me the happiest. I know he hardly feels the same, but it does not matter anymore, because I'm just stoked he still enjoys holding hands.

So no, there is no right answer, to any of the heart felt predicaments. And just like anything you want to succeed in life with, marriage tops the difficulty list, along with parenthood. I read a study that the key to effective teamwork is being nice. Sounds so easy that its almost impossible not to be a team player.

Story telling

I was never ready, for such noise. I didn't think it through, as most of it wasn't left up to me.

My world has turned upside down and right side up again, all in 1 cycle. I had you, rested, and had the privilege of not continuing work due to the current turn of events. And then there is no work. None.

Positive light, that I must find, came to me a bit later, and only after I had outbursts and fits as my logic made more sense of how I shall cope on how we were supposed to make ends meet. 

It hurts the most, when those closest to you laugh at you as if you were joking when you said times are tough. 

If only they knew.

1460

days later.

Words can not even describe what I feel inside. So I won't spoil it. I will write it in your birthday card, so you know.

I love you with all my heart, you handsome monkey you. 

Angels to keep

This time, a few years back. I asked for something for everyone I cared about.  And today, a few years later. I am witnessing with my own eyes and hearing with my heart. 

Thank You, for answering my prayers. I believe You have.