And fold

I think I'm doing alright. 

Only thought about you twice, and the rest was mostly about dying and understanding other bits and pieces of life.

My only remaining task is to settle my worldly debts. Other than that its all on me. 

Sambung kisah makan bawah meja

I am 30 and I finally can read and make sense of what He was saying in His book..

This ramadhan I still ate under my table when I could, although minus the good company I had last year when I did it in Menara Citibank, I still enjoyed my unbroken tradition of eating something silly with a warm drink.

I am thankful that I am getting older, I think without age and wisdom I will never get this close to the Maker and dive into the poetry of His words. I think I have come to my senses and the wrinkles and unpretty complexion will not bother me as much as it did yesterday.

I enjoy my morning walks towards the office now even thoroughly than ever. My references to Him with what I see and hear around me is limited, wish one day I can reference him to my hearts content.

The only poetry book I ever needed was with me all along.

"And brought (within view), that Day, is Hell - that Day, man will remember, but what good to him will be the remembrance?" - 89:23

Morose May

"Morose May, go away.

I need my friends close so please let them stay.

But if it is time for them to go, I pray that you will look after them well, and be kind.

Take them far and surround them with happiness, share with them the rest of the world You own.

Spread the light of love and know and just know that you can come back anytime and things will feel like nothing has changed…"

Oh who am I kidding.  

May has always been a sweet month; my younger brother was born this time of year.

It has a feminine ring to it, May.

A number of people are moving, around and about. It’s about that time of the season, where we have ripened and matured – or have aged and rotted in the same spot.  Would not like to be the latter, but there is a cure for almost everything. A change will do you good. The annoying rhythm and beat of that infamous song comes to mind.

I recall the time when I did my first pass at the SLB interview back then in 2007 and it was in one of the halls that was facing one of the most beloved mosque ever. The interviewer had a piece of advice for me and it was to branch out and express myself more to the world rather than just make the world about my boyfriend and myself. I didn’t really think much about it at the time. I didn’t even show my real self to him and had already made passing judgments.

Post baby life, I realized how important it is to have people around you who are always ready to help. Some aren’t necessarily the type to lend a helping hand literally, but most have the intention to keep you company even if it means they will mess up your house just as much as your kid does in the period of time spent. I must smile. As painstakingly a bother it is at times, house chores should not see the last of me!!

I enrolled in a fit mob thing – there was a massive crowd of people doing the body combat moves and I was just busy copying the dude next to me cause I was just a blank screen when it came to this exercise. The tshirts were cool and I felt a bit like a make believe Lara Croft or the always coveted Chun-Li (like, where are you?!) but only to end up feeling like Marge Simpson cause I had all the dishes to do once I arrived home.

My brain is still buzzing, with excitement for my friends that are no longer here in town with me. You guys be safe. It’s amazing how we never really talked even when we were here together. But gosh, with the technology of telecommunications – it doesn’t feel that you have left me for one bit.

We iz cakeholics. Much.

As far back as I can recall, safely, I can say that almost all of my birthday cakes in my early years are made of thick, butter vanilla batter. The decadent DIY decorations, and the creative twists my dad would do on each cake as I embark a little bit closer to adulthood is still precious to me. Birthdays was THE deal back then – it was the only time where I could do no wrong and break any piece of porcelain without getting a scolding, bring the cat into the house cause it was my party that very evening. I still have photos of myself bawling away with microphone in one hand, my face pointed to the sky in a star-like stance and my poor cat almost slipping between my tiny forearms. I was always dressed in a fluffy frock – socks and all.

Later as the years go by and independence (or so I thought) was mine, we would find other means to fulfill the cake-ish demand we had. In Uni years it was the birth of the much needed Secret Recipe cake store. Oh man, its hard to begin to describe how much that store was needed – and the market was dying for something that had consistent quality and the variety of choices it provided to the customers. We would read the menus front to back, tick on the ones that we enjoyed most and double-ticked those we would plan to come back for seconds. We would ask our friends who would be making day trips into the city and bring back 5-7 boxes of the special cakes in one time. Back then the cakes were priced at rm7.50 per slice I still remember.

So many years later as I hit the big three-O mark – I still find it funny in a way that Mika enjoys cake just as much as I do. We big cake eaters we are. He enjoys looking at the frosting – saying how beautiful it is, and admiring the sprinkles and the metallic decorative tiny balls tumbled all over the creamy frosting. But mostly it is about the cake itself. I shared a lot of photos of him eating cake – and yeah, its pretty neat that he loves cake just as much as I do.