Let's toast to youth

I grew with these babies circa 2009, when the internet was super speed, and my thoughts needed a soundtrack. Their pace always sets me off now, an instant caffeine fix. Here's to R u mine? A bit more mellow compared to the other tracks.  I'm happy to see Alex grow up so beautiful. Charmed.

Milo Run with Naz

I

I faired OK. No big improvement here.  57:37 for 7km which averages out to 8min/km. Still need to learn to push myself so that I can meet my personal target of 60mins for 10km.

                            ***

Went home and took a long cold bath. Been having a number of those lately, tuning out of the world. Which reminds me I need to clean the house as F's coming home soon...How easy it was for you to replace me, he said.

Breakfast Run

I'm mentally preparing myself for the track tomorrow. Its really not that big a deal. Some people have achieved greater without putting much thought into things. But then they would be called gifted, or insanely brilliant. I'm just a nobody. The more I told stories of what happened in the past the more it made me feel like shaking you to bits so that you'd understand. Thank you for popping up in my memories, spicing the future and injecting more spirit into the things I do, so that I can prove to myself that it wasn't just. To the ditchers, the people who gave up on me, to those who took things for granted.. Hidup ini indah tapi ianya bukan selamanya. (borrowed from Tisha). I must let go. 

***

7km tomorrow, have a feeling it will be my personal best given the circumstances. Let's see shall we?

Missing U(tp)

Heated pavement walks, shaded rooftops sought, the bright sun. 
Sweat trickling down my back, cotton scarves, & a touch of lipgloss...

Wake up wake up, and drag myself out of bed. I struggled to find my placement in society during the first 2 years of uni. I was not sure what I was doing there. I made it through but it is still a blur. I knew what I liked, but I guess did not find the right people to jive with. Its not all about studying, you see, its the lack thereof that made it more fun. 

Early morning sky gazing, cheap foods heaped aplenty, chubby cheeks.

Notes shared and copied, field tracked, squash played, pool swam. Perfect skinned. 

The carefree days, could anyone replace? The torturous lab hours that went by in a daze, all I collected were song names to check out later on the intranet. I was a nobody. Among hoards of boys, I sought companion with the other remaining girls. The friendship has lasted me to this date. We'd swap papers during pop quizzes, refer to our well written notebooks and couldn't care less about coming to class early. Maybe we walk slow? Did we? 

Music made my world turn, decisions shorthanded, crazy outings. Adhoc was cool.

Distractions welcomed, trouble disregarded, beach, boys and cigarettes. 

Money was scarce, well at least I knew it wasn't my strongest trait. I didn't need much of it to be happy. Flipping through the old photos and videos I was a pretty happy kid. Laughing between sentences. Was life sweeter then? Or am I not stopping long enough to smell the roses. The city lights will swallow you.. 

Secrets kept, promises broken, lives entered. Exit.
Glances stolen, learning to love, true love? Bitter, cruel, soul. 

Melancholy infinite sadness, where only death can bring eternal peace you said. Boxes. Packed.

I'll make space for all of this, baggage. Sealed tight, close to my heart. If I revisit, do I skip this batch of photos? Or pretend you were not there?

21, 22, 23.. all but a distant memory.