Bilik Hitam

A trip to this royal humble town has always aroused mixed feelings. I'm nervous about becoming something permanent to something that breathes and talks.

I went through the box again. I came to a branched pathway. Should I obliviously remove the pieces of paper that seem to be the only physical remains of this itch. A close friend told me its not really mine to touch. I guess that's true. It was like an old book, revisited. This time I could correlate the dates, and why he was always emotional. At that time, he was suffering from a great loss.

I like to know when things happen. And when I do, the first thing for me to register was where I was during that time. Like the time he lied about hanging out with her. Obviously I was away, working. Please don't take advantage of me, to the both of you.

Frankly, the future looks really cloudy, opaque, I can't see much. I hope he doesn't have to know I'm communicating this way, cause we hardly talk. Et plus, avant le project a chess, je departe pour Kemaman.

And in some unlucky way I struck a deal at seeing him every other week.

Mayestik

I chose one of these =)

I didn't get to tell much about my trip to Jakarta, other than the surprise factor that the trip was planned in just a couple of days over my fear that I will be transported back to Kemaman to resume my 'reality' job in the field. Now, looking back, I do feel that the trip was sort of rushed, nevertheless I do not regret the things I did and whatever consequences this trip has caused me to face, I accept them fully. Blablabla.

The upside of the whole trip was that mama and I went there carrying almost zero luggage and came back 4 bags full of fabric. Haha. And pricewise, of course Indonesia beats Malaysia hands down when it comes to getting the pretty laces at an affordable price. We stayed in a really nice hotel, Hotel Mulia which is very near to Mayestik, an area full of shops that is our equivalent to the gulatis and jackels in town. The only major difference is that they carry pretty much lace and lace. Shoot how time flies when you're fasting. I've got to do some work on the wedding cards.

Yup yup, this wedding stuff is pretty exciting.

Keep up the spirit in this holy month, and try to beat your eyes to get the best of you!!

I want to know what rock steady feels like

So far, I've had nothing but complaints and truck loads of work coming my way. It has not been that much fun trying to bask in the idea that I have only 5 more months to plan out my wedding and all. But proud enough to say that, I've settled with the design and fabric for 2 of my dresses, with the one in Pekan on its way in making - on paper first.

We've finally decided on a color scheme, light gray with myriads of purple =) am glad we could strike a good deal! I've got my budgeting worked out, minimal expenses on flowers and other cosmetics ding dongs. I've yet to find an entertainer/ment but I'll leave that to F to decide since hes gonna be my electronics guy anyways in the future.

I found a simple and funky card when I was in Jakarta a few weeks back, but no thanks to prepaid technology that I couldn't mms the darn thing back home and stressfully made all the decisions on my own. Pretty much.

Ok so in all fairness F has to think whats supposed to go in the card, and he's selling his car for obvious reasons. Hehe. I'm gonna pray that I don't pass out carrying my laptop bag and adjusting to the new mode of transport.

Nasihat dari tukang kutip rambutan

On a dark cloudy day. He wrote :

Misi: siapkan keje smpi sume org puas ati. Tido kat uma.
Alasan: kerje dgn ikhlas.
Jumpe rahmat petang nih: buat kebal je. Yg penting buat muke mcm besungguh2 je. Kesian sikit. Mesti die tadek idea nak ckp ape dah.
Result: wihuuu~

That night I left the office at 12am.
I felt tired to the bone, unhappy, unappreciated, ultimate low.
Thanks for picking me up from work and letting me know you're there.