Well Wishes

I was supposed to be leaving for kl today. But an emergency arose and gc had to leave for melaka and I am left to arrange my own transport back to kl for tomorrow. His grandfather got admitted to the melaka general hospital, the doctors found some blood clot (I think) in the brain. But his grandfather is rather adamant towards the operation, as is the case with most old folks. They have a thing against hospitals and operations and surgery.

It was only yesterday during the talk by Y Bhg. Prof Emeritus Dato' Dr. Khoo Kay Kim that I was dreamily visualizing my shopping spree in OU. But, Allah has bigger plans and gc shall remain in melaka until the end of the chinese new year break. Its ok, I understand. We can always go out some other time and pick out my birthday present together.

For now, I shall pray that your grandfather is going through peaceful recovery and gets better soon.

Remains of You

Sitting up here rows behind you, I see the collar of your shirt and immediately, I am able to sketch the rest of you in my mind. I never knew that catching a glimpse of you could still hold me captive. Guiltily captive? Those cotton checkered boxes in red and blue seem to dance me a slideshow of memory snippets I had with them. It felt light years ago. Until the part where we had to sing the song. The last time I sung it, I was standing next to you. I was accused of being late and you didn't want to talk to me- that is until I found out the patriotic side of you that memorized the lyrics to the university's song and we broke out in attacks of teasing. Should I smile now? Or am I guilty of blatantly walking down memory lane with someone else?

I find myself constantly walking down memory lane, maybe its a girl thing (which I doubt) but I have tonnes of reminders of him just hanging around me like last years' confetti that nobody wants to clean up. The perfume box is somewhere in her drawers, I saw them when I was borrowing the dumbells, the numerous cars. The blue one. The bronze one. Those would last me a few moments of silence. Then there are the moments when I hang out with my close friends, and the next few riffs of "Flowers in the window" are spent in a cluttered self-made mess or utter ignorance. Next track please.

I haven't really made myself deal with the remains of him. I just felt like stopping cold turkey. And just as I realize I'm starting to get all the warm and fuzzy feeling inside from seeing him, I recall the hurtful things he said to me right after the break-up. Works every time.

Gory Monday

Our favourite past-time, 'on-paper chatting' usually during engineering economics classes at 3-5pm har har

Class was at 10am today, but apparently the lecturer had an EL. I found out at class whilst waiting for her to come. What a drag. I've got a meeting with the sv at 2pm today. I am in need of the properties of fiber reinforcements and seriously, I do not really know the difference between a - heyyy... I get it now! Haha. Pretty how things explain themselves, well sometimes that is.

My final year project is on hybrid composites and I've been pouring over composites volume fractions and will soon commit to more agony as today will be the next chapter - hoop and axial stresses. ( I am doing hybrid composites for pressure vessels, in case you are wondering where the stresses come in). Please please please let me get through this in one piece.

After eng econs class, the sporting lot --> gc, afeeq, sara and naz

I don't talk too much about him, but he exists hehe. Me and gc. Die mmg seorang budak yg ssh utk amek gamba cuz he can't sit still. Burok kan my face tgh marah die to put down the brochure and smile propper.

Facilities Eng is at 11am, then need to buy the Organization Behaviour book for rm65. Busy busy week ahead, gotta run!

Being Monumental

I have finished my wait for a prince charming. I am simply giving up on them. Now I know what they mean by pipe dreams.

pipe dream
n. A fantastic notion or vain hope.

I've decided that its time to look after #1 and that will solely be me and only me onwards. I don't want to share your problems anymore, especially those that weren't meant to be shared.

This act of coldness, I seek solace in because I think we have a long way to go before jumping to conclusions about the life we never had. So for now, its every man for him or herself.

It occured to me that perhaps my DNA trait is not tailored to be adjusted to another. It is rigid, will not bend nor suffer from anymore suppressing environments and pressure exerted in the past few days.

Aren't you glad this discovery was made today?